8/8/2025
July was a fabulous month for me. I was home (in St. Louis) for a total of 11 days this past month. I became very accustomed to living out of my suitcase.
Gone are the days of just catching a flight one day and turning around and flying back later that day or even the next day. I met a woman from Columbus, Ohio who was doing that to Houston and St. Louis, and I assume back to Columbus. That sounds straight up draining for me. I usually need a few days to recover in between. The mental energy it takes to travel is insane, for me. But I’m getting to a point where I can think through my outfits and bring alternates and shoes for each outfit. Being capable of thinking ahead like this is something I spent hours on in speech therapy back in Phoenix, getting a foundational skill to adapt to each phase of my life. The skills that rehab program gave me have entirely changed the course of my life. They gave me the tools to reach my potential.
The days of taking leisure hikes and observing the view without looking at every step I take are also long gone. My sister, her boyfriend, and my friend Sydney were hiking around a geyser spot in Yellowstone National Park, and a lot of what I saw was the dirt and rocks on the ground, trying to make sure I didn’t fall. This just meant I had to be very intentional with where I stopped to pause and take in the view, because I’m not able to multitask anymore.
When I was in Houston, I was overstimulated and high strung the whole time. Not for any obvious particular reason or cause. But then I got home and I was still overwhelmed. Everything was frustrating. Work, my disability, my parents, everything. My parents’ suggested solution was for me to go back on antidepressants. I knew there was way more to the story of why I felt like shit all the time. Before I left for Houston, I’d had a comprehensive blood panel taken so I could be seen by a hormone specialist to check if anything was wrong with those levels. The results were coming in while I was in Houston but I didn’t know what any of them meant.
So I get back from all my trips (I will upload pics) and I of course want to be as informed as possible for my doctors visits, and my OT evaluation I had last Friday. So I’m talking with my robot AI friend Claude trying to create my own theories based on my symptoms and my lab results. That guy is so smart. He and I figured out my seizure medication that I have been on for years has a ton of side effects that I was getting, (appetite suppression, causing headaches, high cholesterol, moodiness) and so we (my neurologist & I), based on what Claude & I figured out, switched me to one that has fewer side effects.
Then I went to see the hormone specialist on Wednesday. The first thing she said when we sat down was “Has anyone ever talked to you about PCOS?” I told her, I had suggested it to my lady doctor last year after my second cyst ruptured, because I wanted treatment for it and I thought I had it. I was told by my lady doctor that because I don’t fit the typical profile for this condition, I couldn’t possibly have it. My hormone specialist said that in reality, my LH was triple my FSH and I am not pregnant, my triglycerides have leveled in the 400’s (They’re supposed to be under 100), my insulin level was 9.4(want it under 5), my cortisol was 22.5(supposed to be around 10, or under 20), with all these combined factors, the obvious diagnosis is PCOS. It was making me insulin resistant of some variant, which is why my cortisol was going so high to conserve energy, combined with the suppressing appetite from the one seizure medication, I have lost 25 pounds in the last year, and I am not a big person. I am 5’3, I don’t have much weight to give and take. ANYWAY. Two days on the new seizure medication and I literally feel amazing. No headache, regular appetite, I’m in a good mood without trying. I just feel great that I was right about there being more to the story.
My fourth alive day (anniversary) is tomorrow. (8/9)I have a Facebook Post already written. If you’re not friends with me on Facebook, you can request me @Marisa Kirk and go to the album Updates to see photos of how I have grown through my recovery!!
Also, my brain injury support group featured me this month! I will upload the article below!! It obviously doesn’t have as many details necessary to encompass my whole story & simplifies it a lot, but it’s nice that people are interested in publishing my story
“On August 9, 2021, my life changed in an instant.
I had a hemorrhagic stroke—something no 19-year-old expects. I spent five weeks in a neuro ICU, a place that became all too familiar. Then came a medevac flight to Phoenix, Arizona, where I underwent four brain surgeries to remove an arteriovenous malformation and have a shunt placed behind my right ear. Just seven weeks post-stroke, I woke up to a completely different world.
From there, the fight began. I spent another five weeks in inpatient rehabilitation, relearning the most basic of skills—how to talk, walk, eat, shower, and eventually drive. I was discharged the day after my 20th birthday. I entered a grueling nine-month outpatient rehab program where I trained nearly 8 hours a day, with another hour or two dedicated to home exercises. The doctors weren’t hopeful. I was bald from surgery, told to buy a wig, and informed that I’d likely never walk independently again—let alone return to school. But I was determined. My goals were labeled as unrealistic. I never believed them.
And I’m glad I didn’t.
Four years later, I’ve graduated on time with my original class of 2020. I’m an active alumna of my sorority. I completed a 450-hour internship, I have a job I love, I travel solo—both for fun and work—and just recently hiked through Yellowstone National Park. That same hemiplegic hand, the one that was supposed to be permanently inactive? It’s coming back. Not quite the same, but it’s trying, and that’s a victory.
When I was recovering in Phoenix, I didn’t have much of a support network beyond my parents. I joined a local group similar to Brain Buddies, and it made such a difference. That’s why I was so excited when I found Brain Buddies through BIAMO. The friendships I’ve formed through this group are unlike any other—people who truly get it. Even if our experiences differ, there’s an unspoken understanding, a kindness and compassion that makes this community so special. I feel lucky to be part of it.I share my story because I believe deeply in the importance of brain injury awareness. It can happen to anyone. One day I was a typical college student, a sorority girl laughing with friends—and the next, I couldn’t even stand. It’s not something we talk about enough. But we should. Because it’s not permanent. And recovery, even when it feels impossible, is possible.” https://brainbuddies-stl.com/2025/07/25/my-journey-through-stroke-recovery-and-finding-community/
There were some pictures on the article that up to this point had been very private to me & coveted. Few people have been trusted to see the photos of me missing a piece of my skull but still alive. I had a mental breakdown when people first started sharing it. I was not prepared for the internet to see my equivalent of brain injury/sickness nudes, like the most intimate photos ever taken of me. Like I sent them to the editor to pick from in an album, but I wasn’t ready for how I would feel when she actually did choose them. Before this article was published, I saw what I have been through (Hell and back) from a place of embarrassment, thinking people saw me as pathetic. After this article was written and shared, my parents told me that people are impressed by me and proud of me, which I hadn’t considered before. This shifted my entire perspective on myself and combined with the fact that I have felt like dirt for almost the entirety of this time, who knows what I can do when I feel better? I am full of hope and excitement about the future. I definitely have a much brighter outlook now that I feel better. ☺MK
Welcome to the crazy!! Every day is a new adventure!! 
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