6/23/2025

With everything going on in the political climate, and all my traveling the past few months and in the coming months, my mom decided to help me deep clean my depression room a couple of days ago, just get rid of the clutter that builds up when I’m in and out so much.

My mom really helps me cut through the mess that my mind becomes when I get overwhelmed. It’s really easy to get overwhelmed now. I can almost compare it to a hurricane. My mom is the calm in the eye of the storm. She cuts through the crap. I had a migraine (probably from my room being a mess) and I told her I just wanted to go back to sleep(depression, from not being on antidepressants(lol)) and she said, “Actually I was thinking we clean this room.” And she let me lay in bed with my cat and asked me if each item brought me joy, and if not, it went in a big black industrial trash bag.

I have been feeling super super behind in life, because I have a huge problem with comparing myself to my peers, and all of my peers seem to be way ahead of me in life. Getting married, buying houses, settling down, and I just don’t know how they are doing it. But I have to keep in mind that I suffered a huge setback with lots of deficits when I was 19, that I am still recovering from. I might have graduated from university on time, and had a boyfriend or two while I did it, but I am not in the same place mentally as everyone else my age. I do not need to further penalize myself for that.

A couple years ago, I had the perspective that I was given the super unique chance to recreate who I am, because this is my second chance at life. There is a lot about me that is the same as who I was in 2021, but there is a whooole lot about me that is different. And you know what? I do get to discover who I am now, become a person I love. I have stopped comparing myself to my 19 year old self. I do want to grow, improve, change this body I’m in right now at 23. Home with my parents is where I need to be for this growth to happen. I need the support and unconditional love from them right now. Life is okay right now.

TRAVEL PLANS

Petsitting in town June 30-July 3

Tennessee with my mom July 3-July 6

Lawrence KS July 8

Yellowstone with my sister & her boyfriend to visit my bff July 9-16

Houston July 23-July 29

Boston August 22-Sept 5

I’m so excited!!

And somewhere in there in August & September, I’m going back to OT!! Eeeek!!

☺